by Jack Fertig
San Francisco Bay Times
30 October 1997

The bad news is that the greatest drag act I've seen in decades -- and maybe ever -- will not be performing again for many months. The good news is they've released a CD, so you can take these four girls home wrapped in cellophane and make 'em spin to your endless delight.

The Kinsey Sicks claim to be the world's first "Beauty Shop Quartet" and I'm not about to argue with them. Their vocal harmonies make instruments extraneous and their specialty, "Dragapella," is the title of their first album.

As may be apparent, I've been a big fan of these queens for quite some time, and even so, I've underestimated them. Long enjoying their parodies written to tunes we all recognize ("Fever, " "Gentle Loving People," the Mission Impossible theme, "Don't Worry") I never realized how much of the music is original. I knew these queens were brilliant as soon as I first heard them -- even before I found out that they all have enough degrees to stack a thermometer, many from Haahvahd, and between them they speak enough languages to parody the United Nations. Now the news is that they wrote most of their own music! That Rachel is a lot smarter than she looks!!! Hell, she writes most of the music. Go, girl! Winnie also deserves a hearty "Brava" for her composition, but she always looks smart and well-composed.

Rave! Rave! Rave! And no, I'm not tricking with any of them. If you haven't been lucky enough to catch these queens on stage, this is your opportunity to hear them at your leisure and give them to your friends.

Even though most of the songs are get-out hilarious and bawdy, they cover a full range from "Beaver" (a truly trashy tribute "to our Lesbo-licious sisters.") to the deeply poignant "I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free." They hit all the queer bases (and tenors and falsettos!) from gym queens ("Self-Esteem") to medications ("AZT") to "Baster Baby Blues." Something is sure to strike home! "Gentle Loving People" hits a bull's eye where Holly barely came near. The first time I heard Trixie sing "AZT" was the first time I was able to just let go and laugh out loud at all these goddam pills I'm taking. Laughter is the best medicine, and these girls dose it out liberally!

Most of the original music picks up on the rhythms and harmonies of the '50s, and the parodies range from Calypso to Motown to Midler. Hmmm. After seeing Little Shop of Horrors, my date and I agreed that the combination of Black music, Jewish humor, and gay production values was a winning formula. These queens have got it! Winnie and Rachel provide a healthy chunk of Jewish humor. Vassy and Trixie are the goy sopranos.

Besides balancing voices and moods (and ethnicities), their personalities interact to reflect the four alchemical elements. Yes, it's true. They may look like a bunch of silly queens, but all that shallow stuff is just on the surface.

Trixie is a dazzling spark of fire in her shimmering white hair and vivacious smile. Provocative trills of her tongue and her little moues let every one know the girl's hot in more ways than one, and she'll give anybody a taste of her ... fever. (Watch out for Trixie! I've done her chart. She has the same birthday as Godzilla and Liberace!)

Winnie is the fastidious, orderly, grounding earth of the quartet. Even her conception (as described in "Baster Baby Blues") was immaculate. Of course, she's a Virgo. With pitch pipe and a firm sense of values, she keeps the girls on their toes. OK, the stiletto heels help.

Vaselina is the airhead; well, you know what I mean. Her stories and fascination with informational video help to inform the group. She's a regular Miss Information! Her heart and smile are as open as the skies of the prairie as she sings a hysterical but heartfelt "Life Size Jesus." Are we surprised that she shares a birthday with Art Linkletter, Diahann Carroll and Phillis Diller?

Rachel. Dear, sweet, sensitive, watery Rachel. She was born on the same day of the year as Shirley Temple and Vladimir Nabokov. Poor thing. She tries so hard to please and to endear. Lord, how she tries! She even begs her beau to "Take Me Home to Meet Your Mama." She's in tune with ethereal voices from somewhere underneath that humongously overdone do, and even if she marches to the beat of a different drummer, she's always on beat with the other girls.

Yeah! Deep! Didn't I tell you? Why I had to wear my three-inch stiletto hipwaders just to come up with that stuff! Just getting the CD is a lot easier. You can order it on their website at members.aol.com/ksicks (and even hear some audio clips!) or rush down to Different Light or any place where CD stands for Classy Dragapella!