by Daniel Jenkins
Outvoice!!
5 October 1997 "Dragapella" by THE KINSEY SICKS

"What's that noise? Joy of joys! It's a girl group! Made of boys!"

So begins our introduction to the Kinsey Sicks, "America's Favorite Beautyshop Quartet." The Kinsey Sicks are a campy group of harmonizing harlots named Rachel, Trixie, Vaselina and Winnie. Formed after attending a Bette Midler concert and being shocked that they were the only people in drag at the concert, The Kinsey Sicks began performing their comedic burlesque in San Francisco where they earned a much-deserved following.

Much of the "Dragapella" album spotlights their queer parodies of popular songs. The Sicks skewer Holly Near's "We Are A Gentle Loving People": "We are a vicious catty people and we are scratching... scratching out your eyes!" They rewrite "The Rose" and dare to poke fun at Bette's classic hit: "When the lyrics are too smaltzy... and the notes (deep breath) are held too long!" They combine their considerable vocal talent to create an a cappella version of the theme from "Mission Impossible": "Looks good on cue! Tom has brains, too! That's when I knew... who needs Keanu, who? Tom Cruise!" One of the funniest parodies is a Jewish take on Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" entitled "Worry." Rachel reminds us that "you get a gift, it's a gorgeous tie. It could get caught in the elevator. Then you'll choke and die!" The gals often interrupt their own numbers to speak directly to their audience. Rachel warns us "Don't laugh! It happened to Isadora Duncan!" The spoofs get more and more queer as the album continues. "Proud Marys" gives the Ike & Tina Turner classic a homo-twist as they sing about cruising for sex in public places: "Trollin' on the river!" and "AZT," a spoof of the Jackson Five hit "ABC," reads out a laundry list of drugs necessary for those living with HIV. "Baster Baby Blues" takes on The Supreme's "Love Child" on the topic of artificial insemination, "Macaroona" gives a Jewish twist to the "Macarena" and the Kinsey Sicks live up (or down, depending on how you look at things) to their name with a rauchy tribute to lesbian sex called "Beaver," based on the Peggy Lee standard, "Fever."

But Parody isn't the only Kinsey Sick schtick. There are plenty of original tunes filled with drag queen humor and know-how. In "Lifesize Jesus," Vaselina sings a tale of love and loss... and a life enriched by two Carpenters, Jesus... and Karen. You'll find yourself humming along to such fun ditties as "Take Me Home To Meet Your Mama," "Be Here Next Year," and "Self-Esteem." And you'll laugh as you relate to "Men Are Pigs (But Why Keep Kosher?)" Just when you think the Kinsey Sicks are really campy and 'out there'... they will amaze you with "Begona's Song," a tribute song to the fifth member of the Kinsey Sicks, Abatto Avilez, who passed away last year.

The Kinsey Sicks are: Ben "Rachel" Schatz, Maurice "Trixie" Kelly, Jerry "Vaselina" Friedman and Irwin "Winnie" Keller. For more information, contact the Kinsey Sicks at KSicks@aol.com or visit their Website http://members.aol.com/ksicks. "Dragapella" currently is available at A Different Light bookstores in San Francisco, New York and West Hollywood.